26 January 2012, 01.55
Ever since that day, I don't remember seeing myself laugh sincerely. It's like the moment my father gone to heaven half of my soul is gone too.

There are days when I don't know what to do. Days when I forgot i need to eat. Days when time passes so quickly. Days when time suddenly stop.

The only purpose in my life right now just to make my Mom happy. Yet I always be the one that make her cry. I wanna punch myself for that.

People says time will heal everything. I just wanna believe that is true. But it's been one and half year and I still feel miserable.

I never blame God for taking away my Dad. How could I? If the only way my father free from all the pain is death. 

I just sometimes wish, my father still here. Screaming to me, slap my face (things he never do) or do anything just to make me realize I'm doing wrong.

Be happy up there My Lovely Dad, even it's hurt. I'll make sure I'm okay.You don't need to come to my dream. Just go straight, no turning back. Because our world is different now. And thinking you're happy in heaven made me happy too.

Your forever little girl.

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